In the News
Jimmy Kimmel, Kathy Griffin, and a long list of mainstream media editorial writers have voiced their support for the “hilarious” speech by Michelle Wolf on Saturday. Here are some quotes from her “comedy” gold:
- “Mike Pence is very anti-choice. He thinks abortion is murder, which, first of all, don’t knock it till you try it. And when you do try it, really knock it. You know, you’ve got to get that baby out of there.”
- “There’s also, of course, Ivanka. She was supposed to be an advocate for women, but it turns out she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons. She’s done nothing to satisfy women. So, I guess like father, like daughter.”
- “I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. She burns facts, and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.”
- “Trump is so broke he grabs pussies because he thinks there might be loose change in them.”
- ”A woman’s probably not going to jerk off in front of anyone, right? Paul Ryan also couldn’t make it. Of course, he’s already been circumcised. Unfortunately, while they were down there, they also took his balls. Ivanka cleans up nice. She’s the Diaper Genie of the administration. On the outside, she looks sleek but the inside, it’s still full of shit.”
- “Kellyanne Conway has the perfect last name for what she does: Conway. It’s like if my name was Michelle Jokes Frizzy Hair Small Tits. You guys have to stop putting Kellyanne on your shows. If you don’t give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. It’s like that old saying: If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree.”
- “Trump is a racist though. He loves white nationalists, which is a weird term for a Nazi. Calling a Nazi a white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a kid friend.”
Political Memes and Funny Pictures
Quote of the Day
I wouldn’t change a single word that I said. — Michelle Wolf, on her White House Correspondent’s Dinner act