“It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop — EVER — until you are dead.”

“What is your major malfunction numbnuts? Didn’t mommy and daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?”

“Sweep the leg”

“You’ll get nothing and like it!”

“OK! I’ll talk! In 3rd grade, I cheated on my history exam. In 4th grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out.”

“Oh, there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin’ ’bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out they ass. That’s their one, that’s their one.”

“Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”

“Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo?”

“Well, I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fuckin’ fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling ‘Zippity Doo Da’ out of your assholes!”

(singing) “I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to…”

“Redrum Redrum Redrum.”

“Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho.”

“I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum.”

“You touch me…he dies. If you’re not in the air in thirty seconds…he dies. You come back in…he dies.”

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere.”

“All you have to do is follow 3 simple rules: One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary; and Three…be nice.”

“If I’m here, and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our time? Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with a little feast on our time?”

“Say hello to my little friend!”

“No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.”

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father! Prepare to die!”